1. Xena: Warrior Princess, Season 1, Ep. 3 - “Dreamworker”


  2. We know sexism when we see it (criticizing casting choices):

    Criticizing the casting selection of Wonder Woman is not body shaming, it’s being able to recognize how sexism and beauty standards interplay in media. While I have nothing against Gal Gadot as an individual (I, obviously, do not know her personally and I do appreciate the effort she’s already putting into fitting the Amazonian role with her current workout regimen, however), the casting of another thin woman into the Wonder Woman role (let’s not forget the legendary Lynda Carter) is not a coincidence. Can you imagine if Thor was not played by a (6. ft 3, 201 lbs) muscular, heftily built Chris Hemsworth but by a man far lighter and far shorter? He wouldn’t have the same impact on screen as a convincing Thor, even with the same acting skills.

    Same thing goes for criticizing the most recent live action interpretation of Amanda Waller in Arrow. Fans who are aware of how sexist beauty standards insist that women be as thin as possible and take up as little space as possible, recognize what’s happening to Amanda Waller just as much as fans of Wonder Woman recognize why casting directors would more likely hire a thin actress over a larger, more mesomorphic one, besides their acting skills.

    Critics aren’t saying Gal can’t act, can’t be convincingly tough or does not “deserve” to act as Wonder Woman. What we are saying is that, when casting directors, character designers and concept artists repeatedly shrink down female characters in a way that counters their usual or most widely preferred interpretation, they are likely giving into fears that a female character that looks like she can take you and break you will not be marketable.

  3. (Source: myperfectstorm)


  4. "I left liberal feminism, because it doesn’t tell the “male gaze” to fuck off, it FUCKS it. I left liberal feminism, because it told me that I was only powerful if my power satisfied men’s needs, if my power meant being on my knees taking a “Money Shot” while a man, conditioned from the very system that oppresses me, jerks off to my subordination. I left liberal feminism, because it argues in a POST-patriarchal context, telling me that my sexuality is my own, while in fact, males will always own it as long as male dominance is a political, economic, social and cultural reality. Which it presently is."

    (via angrywomanistcritic)

    sex negative for life. 

    (via awkosaur)

    I left liberal feminism, because it told me that I was only powerful if my power satisfied men’s needs

    (via shortbreadsh)

    (Source: , via yoursocialconstructsareshowing)


  6. "Princess Donna, a longtime performer and director at Kink, says that models are ultimately responsible for stopping a scene that breaches their limits. During her very first BDSM shoot with a New York company, she says, “I was crying and crying, which was not against their shooting rules. There was a male dominant and a male videographer and a female photographer. I kept looking to her to save me, you know? But then I realized, that’s what safe words are for, and it’s my responsibility to say what I can and can’t handle.”"


    Rape culture in action.

    Like doms don’t have safewords. Hint: THEY DO. THEY CAN STOP THE SCENE AND CHECK IN.

    (via survivorsofkinkunite)

  7. Conditioning 1-0-1 with Topher Brink from "Dollhouse" in the unaired pilot.

  8. Background: While intimate partner violence (IPV) affects 25% of women and impairs health, current societal conditions—including the normalization of abuse in popular culture such as novels, film, and music—create the context to support such violence. Fifty Shades of Grey, a best-selling novel, depicts a “romantic” and “erotic” relationship involving 28-year-old megamillionaire, Christian Grey, and a 22-year-old college student, Anastasia Steele. We argue that the relationship is characterized by IPV, which is harmful to Anastasia.

    Methods: All authors engaged in iterative readings of the text, and wrote narrative summaries to elucidate themes. Validity checks included double review of the first eight chapters of the novel to establish consistency in our analysis approach, iterative discussions in-person and electronically to arbitrate discrepancies, and review of our analysis with other abuse and sexual practice experts. To characterize IPV, we used the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s definitions of emotional abuse (intimidation/threats; isolation; stalking; and humiliation) and sexual violence (forced sex acts/contact against a person’s will, including using alcohol/drugs or intimidation/pressure). To characterize harm, we used Smith’s conceptualizations of perceived threat, managing, altered identity, yearning, entrapment, and disempowerment experienced by abused women.

    Results: Emotional abuse is present in nearly every interaction, including: stalking (Christian deliberately follows Anastasia and appears in unusual places, uses a phone and computer to track Anastasia’s whereabouts, and delivers expensive gifts); intimidation (Christian uses intimidating verbal and nonverbal behaviors, such as routinely commanding Anastasia to eat and threatening to punish her); and isolation (Christian limits Anastasia’s social contact). Sexual violence is pervasive—including using alcohol to compromise Anastasia’s consent, as well as intimidation (Christian initiates sexual encounters when genuinely angry, dismisses Anastasia’s requests for boundaries, and threatens her). Anastasia experiences reactions typical of abused women, including: constant perceived threat (“my stomach churns from his threats”); altered identity (describes herself as a “pale, haunted ghost”); and stressful managing (engages in behaviors to “keep the peace,” such as withholding information about her social whereabouts to avoid Christian’s anger). Anastasia becomes disempowered and entrapped in the relationship as her behaviors become mechanized in response to Christian’s abuse.

    Conclusions: Our analysis identified patterns in Fifty Shades that reflect pervasive intimate partner violence—one of the biggest problems of our time. Further, our analysis adds to a growing body of literature noting dangerous violence standards being perpetuated in popular culture.

    “Double Crap!” Abuse and Harmed Identity in Fifty Shades of Grey

    Amy E. Bonomi, Lauren E. Altenburger, and Nicole L. Walton. Journal of Women’s Health, Volume 22, Number 9, 2013

    Found via womensgrid

    (Source: survivorsofkinkunite)


  9. rapedolll asked: just a question: what about women, like myself, who get off by being battered and raped etc etc?


    [TW: rape, abuse, sexualized VAW/violence against women]

    What about women who have sexualized their own subordination? Who have internalized misogyny that has borrowed its way so deeply into their psyche that it has accessed some of the most intimate aspects of themselves, such as their sexuality? What about women who harbor rape culture enabling myths, such as the myth that rape is enjoyable for rape victims?

    I think these women need to re-evaluate their beliefs about what is and isn’t healthy, sexually and mentally, that they need to re-evaluate their overall perception about the impact of being raped or being abused, and that they need to assess how holding onto such beliefs is likely to negatively impact how they react to sexual and physical violence, both victims of it and its perpetrators, as in who they more easily sympathize and empathize with.

    A person having their boundaries violated, their humanity ignored, their right/s to be treated with decency and dignity and respect dismissed is not acceptable and is not enjoyable, and to believe it is contributes to a rape culture; a culture in which victims are blamed for being raped and/or abused, in which the onus of responsibility is not placed on the perpetrator but the person the perpetrator committed a crime against.

    You do not enjoy being raped. Rape is not something you agree to. Rape is not something that occurs when permission is given, when consent is given. Rape occurs when their is a lack of consent or when a person is coerced into cooperating out of intimidation or fear so that a rapist can perform a sex/ualized act on them.

    Here is some critical, important information on Rape Trauma Syndrome, so that you have a clear(er) understanding of just how severely rape impacts individuals who experience it and so that you have no excuse to think that rape is enjoyable (which is something a rapist and/or rape apologist would think):

    Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is the medical term given to the response that survivors have to rape. It is very important to note that RTS is the natural response of a psychologically healthy person to the trauma of rape so these symptoms do not constitute a mental disorder or illness.

    The most powerful factor in determining psychological suffering or damage is the character of the traumatic event itself. Individual personality characteristics count for little in the face of overwhelming events. Physical harm or injuries are also not as great a factor since individuals with little or no physical harm may yet be severely affected by their exposure to a traumatic situation. Before looking at the effects of rape it is therefore important to first examine the character of the trauma that is rape.

    Not only is there the element of surprise, the threat of death and the threat of injury, there is also the violation of the person that is synonymous with rape. This violation is physical, emotional and moral and associated with the closest human intimacy of sexual contact. The intention of the rapist is to profane this most private aspect of the person and render his victim utterly helpless. The character of the event is thus connected to the perpetrator’s apparent need to terrorise, dominate and humiliate the victim. The victim is therefore most likely to see his actions as motivated by deliberate malice, a malice impossible for her to understand. Rape by its very nature is intentionally designed to produce psychological trauma. It is form of organised social violence comparable only to the combat of war, being but the private expression of the same force. We get nowhere in our understanding of Rape Trauma Syndrome if we think of rape as simply being unwanted sex. Where combat veterans suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, rape survivors experience similar symptoms on a physical, behavioural and psychological level.


    Physical symptoms are those things which manifest in or upon the survivor’s body that are evident to her and under physical examination by a nurse or doctor. Some of these are only present immediately after the rape while others only appear at a later stage.

    • Immediately after a rape, survivors often experience shock. They are likely to feel cold, faint, become mentally confused (disorientated), tremble, feel nauseous and sometimes vomit.
    • Pregnancy.
    • Gynaecological problems. Irregular, heavier and/or painful periods. Vaginal discharges, bladder infections. Sexually transmitted diseases.
    • Bleeding and/or infections from tears or cuts in the vagina or rectum.
    • A soreness of the body. There may also be bruising, grazes, cuts or other injuries.
    • Nausea and/or vomiting.
    • Throat irritations and/or soreness due to forced oral sex.
    • Tension headaches.
    • Pain in the lower back and/or in the stomach.
    • Sleep disturbances. This may be difficulty in sleeping or feeling exhausted and needing to sleep more than usual.
    • Eating disturbances. This may be not eating or eating less or needing to eat more than usual.


    Behavioural symptoms are those things the survivor does, expresses or feels that are generally visible to others. This includes observable reactions, patterns of behaviour, lifestyle changes and changes in relationships.

    • Crying more than usual.
    • Difficulty concentrating.
    • Being restless, agitated and unable to relax or feeling listless and unmotivated.
    • Not wanting to socialise or see anybody or socialising more than usual, so as to fill up every minute of the day.
    • Not wanting to be alone.
    • Stuttering or stammering.
    • Avoiding anything that reminds the survivor of the rape.
    • Being more easily frightened or startled than usual.
    • Being very alert and watchful.
    • Becoming easily upset by small things.
    • Relationship problems, with family, friends, lovers and spouses. Irritability, withdrawal and dependence are factors which effect this.
    • Fear of sex, loss of interest in sex or loss of sexual pleasure.
    • Changes in lifestyle such as moving house, changing jobs, not functioning at work or at school or changes to her appearance.
    • Drop in school, occupational or work performance.
    • Increased substance abuse.
    • Increased washing or bathing.
    • Behaving as if the rape didn’t occur, trying to live life as it was before the rape, this is called denial.
    • Suicide attempts and other self-destructive behaviour such as substance abuse or self mutilation.


    Psychological symptoms are much less visible and can in fact be completely hidden to others so survivors need to offer this information or be carefully and sensitively questioned in order to elicit them. They generally refer to inner thoughts, ideas and emotions.

    • Increased fear and anxiety.
    • Self-blame and guilt.
    • Helplessness, no longer feeling in control of her life.
    • Humiliation and shame.
    • Lowering of her self esteem
    • Feeling dirty or contaminated by the rape
    • Anger
    • Feeling alone and that no one understands.
    • Losing hope in the future.
    • Emotional numbness.
    • Confusion
    • Loss of memory.
    • Constantly thinking about the rape.
    • Having flashbacks to the rape, feeling like it is happening again.
    • Nightmares
    • Depression.
    • Becoming suicidal.

    There are many influences on the manner in which each individual survivor of sexual violence copes and on the length of time the symptoms may be present. These factors include:

    • Support systems
    • The relationship with the offender
    • The degree of the violence used
    • Social and cultural influences
    • Previous experience with stress
    • Ability to cope with stress
    • Attitude of those immediately contacted after the assault
    • The age and developmental stage of the survivor (adolescent survivors are more vulnerable)

    It is important that we recognise that survivors will not respond in the same ways, as comparing two case histories can show. While most survivors will experience these symptoms, some survivors may only experience a few of these symptoms while others may experience none at all. We must be careful not to judge whether someone has been raped by the number of symptoms that they display. Because most survivors are afraid to tell anyone that they have been raped it is often not easy to observe their reaction, or recognise them without the survivor’s own account – and this she is unlikely to give easily.

    It has been observed through clinical studies that almost all rape survivors suffer severe and long lasting emotional trauma. The most significant factors that cause this appear to be a combination of the following features of the assault experience:

    • It is sudden
    • It is perceived as life threatening
    • Its apparent purpose is to violate the survivor’s physical integrity and/or render her helpless.
    • The survivor is forced to participate in the crime.
    • The survivor cannot prevent the assault or control the assailant, her normal coping strategies have failed. Thus she becomes a victim of someone else’s aggression.

    The trauma is usually compounded by the myths, prejudice and stigma associated with rape. Survivors who have internalised these myths have to fight feelings of guilt and shame. The burden can be overwhelming especially if the people they come into contact with reinforce those myths and prejudices.

    This is why it is essential that all legal, medical and police procedures must not cause further trauma to survivors who must be given all possible support to overcome and survive the ordeal. Courts are now beginning to use evidence of this kind in the trial stage of a court case as well as at the sentencing stage where the effect that the rape has had on the victim’s life is taken into consideration when sentencing the perpetrator. However it is plain to see that there are distinct psychological clues, left in the survivor’s mind, that add up to evidence of trauma of a very particular character that we know as the crime of rape. - (http://rapecrisis.org.za/information-for-survivors/rape-trauma-syndrome/), Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust

    Dear “rapedolll”, if what is being done to you or what you are involved in is consensual, it is not rape. Just because the sex you are having or the sex acts being performed on you are aggressive does not make it acceptable for you to think of rape and sex as interchangeable, even if it is rough sex. Rough sex is rough sex. Rape is rape. They are not the same and should never be referred to as such.


  10. liamnotlaura asked: I am curious about your thoughts on gender abolition? Like, what do you mean? I am all with you on fighting the patriarchy (seriously, fuck the patriarchy), but isn't gender abolition harmful? As a transman (female to male) I take great pride in my gender identity, and I know a lot of people who are as well. Is there any harm in saying "I love who I am and how I identify?" I just don't understand what you are trying to accomplish. And why anti-kink?


    I think it is important, before I answer this question to let you know the definition of gender I am working from, as there are several ways that people view gender and if we are using different definitions the conversation will fail hard.  I am going to be blatantly plagiarizing some of my own writing also, so if this sounds familiar it probably is.  So with that said, here we go:

    Gender is a system of social and power relations related to the binary distinction between “man” and “woman” that are designed to prepare male and female people to live in a social hierarchy with women (females) at the bottom and men (males) at the top.  This is initially based on biological differences (males are socialized into being men from the moment of birth, females are socialized into being women from the moment of birth) but though it is based on biology, gender itself is a social force.  Because it is a social force, gender is different from culture to culture and there are no biological bases for any of the claims regarding the psychological or social differences between the sexes.  The gender roles used to accentuate these hierarchical standings are masculine and feminine.  For example, a female baby is born, because of this she is shuttled into the “woman” or “girl” social class (based solely on her biology) and because of that she is taught to be feminine.  The opposite would happen to a male baby.

    So when I say I want to abolish gender what I mean is I want to abolish the social classes that children are shuttled into as well as the gender roles that we are taught to play because of being in those social classes.  It would mean that woman and man mean adult human female and male, respectively (similar to how you have roosters and hens, or stallions and mares, or cows and bulls, all words that define the sex of the animal, there are no social expectations on a hen because she is a hen.  It just tells us that she is the half of the species who is able to create eggs).  This would benefit everyone, as NO ONE fits perfectly into gendered boxes.  All the previously gendered items (clothing, jobs, toys, behaviors, emotions, hairstyles, body expectations, eating habits, types of exercise, how we talk, how we hold ourselves, names, makeup expectations) would still exist (though they might fall out of fashion) but you would still have access to them.  

    It would remove gender dysphoria as there wouldn’t be a gender to feel dysphoric about.  If you have sex dysphoria, that would still be treatable by medical doctors.  Boys would not be taught to be aggressive little assholes, girls would not be taught to be submissive or taught to make room for little boys.  Girls wouldn’t be shoved away from STEM fields, boys would be encouraged to help with family tasks like cooking, cleaning ,and taking care of children.  It would remove the socialization that makes little kids feel wrong for liking what they like (whether that be a little boy who likes dressing up like a princess or a little girl who wants to be a truck driver (i legit wanted to be a truck driver for years and years) or whatever else)

    You would still be the same person you are now in essence.  I don’t know you and I don’t know your specific experiences but I am assuming that if you are like 99% of the female-born people I meet and talk to, you have received some sort of hatred or aggressiveness from someone about not fitting into the female box you were born into.  This would remove the box, so there would be nothing to be angry at you for. 

    I hope that explains what I mean when I say I want to abolish gender.

    If you want to read more on my view I have compiled some links here. 

    As for the kink critical stuff, read these two posts then let me know if you still have questions: [x] [x]